The Dog Ate My Homework

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Initially written when planning a visit to my daughters fourth grade class a bunch of years ago, this piece proved popular on the elementary school beat in general. 

This poem is available as a broadside HERE.

The Dog Ate My Homework

"My doggy ate my homework,

he chewed it up," I said.

But when I offered my excuse,

my teacher shook her head.

I saw this wasn’t going well.

I didn’t want to fail.

Before she had a chance to talk,

I added to the tale:

"Before he ate, he took my work

and tossed it in a pot.

He simmered it with succotash

until it was piping hot.

"He scrambled up my science notes

With eggs and bacon strips,

along with sautéed spelling words,

and baked potato chips.

"He then took my arithmetic

and had it gently fried.

He broiled both my book reports

with pickles on the side.

"He wore a doggy apron

as he cooked a notebook stew.

He barked when I objected.

There was nothing I could do."

"Did he wear a doggy chef hat?"

My teacher gave a scowl.

"He did," I said. "And taking it

would only make him growl."

My teacher frowned, but then I said

As quickly as I could,

"He covered it with ketchup,

And he said it tasted good."

"A talking dog who likes to cook?"

My teacher had a fit.

She sent me to the office,

And that is where I sit.

I guess I made a big mistake

In telling her all that,

because I don’t even have a dog.

It was shredded by my cat.

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Shared with those stewed tomatoes over at DVerse Poets, both soupy and saucy.

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©2023 Christopher Reilley 

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