Vessels
This poem is a Cadralor, a form I was just introduced to moments ago, by the fine folks over at DVerse.
Uncontained is the river
upon whose back
dead leaves float
onward to the sea.
Irreversible are words
spoken in anger or haste,
they cling to our memories
like fog to a morning fisherman.
Untenable is melancholy
after empty conversations
about routines
and other superficial conversations.
Immovable are moments
when love consumes two souls,
leaving one life
to be shared among them.
Conjoined is the pair
who have grown past their hurts
to find the key, on the ground,
where they decided to put down roots.
I would love to know what you thought about this piece.
Please consider leaving a comment.
I love how you concluded this... building a home is all about learning everything (good and bad) about each other. I think this prompt is giving us some of the best poetry ever.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed how the adjectives set each scene in that announcing way - and the whole look at human relations so gently told
ReplyDeleteI see this as a progression, and you tie this all together nicely with your last stanza
ReplyDeleteIt feels like change swirls around in emotional flux but there is comfort in the grounding of home. For just learning of the form minutes ago, you got the hang of it quickly.
ReplyDeleteThis is incredibly moving! I especially like; "Untenable is melancholy
ReplyDeleteafter empty conversations about routines and other superficial conversations." Yes!
The conclusion is beautifully tied together. Whereas the initial stanzas are about clashing movements and immovable moments, your last concluding stanza is satisfying middle ground - to find the key and put down roots.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed the truth in each stanza, nice evolution at the end!
ReplyDeleteI think there is a common thread which runs through this piece, and you really pulled it together tightly at the end. Great work!
ReplyDeleteLuv the impermenace thread running through and its paradox in Verse 5
ReplyDeleteMuch💜love
Not an easy challenge, however you managed it beautifully!!
ReplyDeleteThe first stanza, those floating apathetic leaves. Sets the tone for what is a morose and thought-provoking poem. Much enjoyed.
ReplyDeletePerfect example for this writing form. Beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading this, Christopher :-) My favourite phrases:
ReplyDelete"like fog to a morning fisherman"
"conjoined is the pair
who have grown past their hurts"
The first lines of each stanza, in fact, I like the most.