Christmas at the Cuckoo's Next


Of all the holidays that come and go
Christmas is the one that we love best.
No matter how crazy, it just goes to show
we love the yuletide in the cuckoo’s nest.

We deck the halls with scat, and shirts
and wait for Santa all month long.
Cause when we catch him he is gonna get hurt
but we all love to sing Christmas songs

Singing carols just fills up the hollow void
left by those who were able to forget me.
It does not help that they call me paranoid,
I sing “Santa Claus is Coming…to get me”

The dark end of the year makes us feel pessimistic
so we gather to sing Yule songs round the tree.
Like all of those diagnosed narcissistic
singing “Hark, the Herald Angels Sing … About Me”

We try to stay busy, doing brisk calisthenics
and writing letters home to those who are so dear
and singing along with the many schizophrenics
asking musically “Do You Hear What I Hear?”

Guys with sexual identity crisis, playing on the recorder
for pyromaniacs constantly re-lighting their cigar.
and because they have multiple personality disorder
singing “We Three Queens Disoriented Are”

We hung Holly because we heard we were supposed to,
but she went home, so we hung her in absentia.
“I’ll be home for Christmas”, but if I’m overdue
it will be because of my senile dementia.

The patients who are manic insist on decorating the walls.
Which I guess is better than being withdrawn,
except that they are always wanting to “Deck the Halls
and the Office, and the Beds, and the Staff and the Lawn…”

Christmas is depressing, even to those on the outside,
and the long dark days don’t bring spirits any higher.
But I've had enough of the many suicides
singing “Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire”

“I Look Like a Hippopotamus for Christmas” is a tune
that always gets sung by the anorexics,
and we hear “Tables in Boyland” every day around noon
as it gets mangled by the many dyslexics.

We may be crazy, we might be weird,
but none of us think Christmas is for fools.
In our blissful ignorance we are sometime feared,
but we still wish you all a very cool Yule!

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