Never Say Never

I always thought that I was a private person, that I would NEVER end up blogging - publicly journaling - my life and the happy crap that goes on in it. I would NEVER share my innermost thoughts with the world at large, I am a guy, and guys don't do that crap, right?

When I was kid, my mom could NEVER get me to do simple chores. Things like doing the dishes, or laundry, or vacuuming was woman's work, something I would NEVER do. My bedroom as a teenager was a study in creative drapery, clothes covering every available surface, hanging from almost every object, competing for space with the hundreds of books, comic books, magazines, canvases, paints, brushes, food remnants and 8-track tape cartridges that were everywhere. I always said that I would NEVER want to sleep in a tidy, orderly space,that was not for us creative types.

I NEVER cared much for cars, or how to fix them. I was NEVER interested in street names, I navigated by landmarks. I had no interest in gardening, or cooking, I would NEVER bother with regular maintenance, that was for squares, if something broke, I'd just get another one, right?

Well, I'm sure you can guess where this is going. I have learned a lot from then until now, and all of those things I would NEVER do are now everyday occurrences for me. One of the hardest lessons I've had to learn was to NEVER say NEVER.

NEVER SAY NEVER

I am sorry for the lessons
In psycho-social hysteria.

I never learn.

To my eyes you are as dark
as Vienna chocolate.

I never win.

Against the monsters in the dark
I hang curtains of bladed silver.

I never fear.

But for the grace of mistakes
I would roar as a ghost-lion.

I am never quiet.

My fists are forever balled for a fight,
my teeth sharpened by debate.

I never quit.
Wanting to explain the moon
means I will never swim the seas.

It never ends.
Every hand has been mis-dealt,
cheating by playing with myself.

I am never wrong.

And my words, though clouded to you
reveal everything that I am.

I never learn.
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©2011 Christopher Reilley

 

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