Roundhouse to Eternity
Chuck Norris - March 10, 1940 - March 19, 2026 Roundhouse to Eternity Chuck Norris died, they said, and the universe apologized for the inconvenience. Chuck Norris doesn’t pass away. He simply decided to stop playing hide-and-seek with gravity, time, and biology. When he walked through the pearly gates, St. Peter filled out paperwork with trembling hands, and heaven immediately revised its policies. Chuck Norris doesn’t get sick. Illness apologizes. Disease files restraining orders. The sun hesitated this morning, then rose with caution, as if even photons know better. His shadow called in sick, and the wind refused to blow, not wanting to look like it was challenging him. Movies paused themselves in respect. Martial arts schools across the world held silent ceremonies, their students standing straighter, as if someone had finally perfected posture. Even death asked politely, “Do you mind if I wait?” Chuck Norris smiled once, and somewhere a comet decided to retire early. He is gone. A...
